A few years I found myself depressed. It took me a long while to get through it and I share in this post a strategy I used.
Depression is not feeling sad although you may feel sad. The best way I heard it described as utter hopelessness, a feeling of nothing. I think that accurately portrays it in my opinion. However, you want a more technical explanation or diagnosis then you should consult your care physician.
I experienced much change in my life around the time of my depression. We had moved from California to Austin, Texas. I had quit my job or if you will I was told I was being let go and had been given about a year to get another job. The move was needed, but shortly after the move the depression set in as I found it difficult to get another job.
To make matters worse I used alcohol to cope with my problems. I regularly found it extremely hard to get out of bed in the mornings. My lack of a career enhanced the struggles in my marriage, which led me further down the pit of depression. I was sad, but I had never before experienced hopelessness.
What pulled me out of my depression? I remembered a book I bought in college called As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. When I read these words my whole paradigm shifted, You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. I dropped the book and began to think about everything that had happened in my life.
I was responsible for the way I felt and what I thought about. Therefore, I decided I would change it. I used the strategy of gratitude to pull me out of the pit. The more thankful I was the more my mood shifted and my demeanor was focused on the blessings I had. Every day and several times a day I would stop and find something to be grateful for.
Over time, the black cloud hanging over me parted and the sun was let in. If you are feeling depressed then please consult your doctor. You should not feel ashamed of being depressed. It is a serious issue and talking about can help you. Talking to your doctor can help find a good treatment course of action.
Gratitude can make a huge difference and help pull the focus off of you to how much you do have. For me that was the strategy that made all the difference.
There is a great benefit to a positive attitude, but how can we stay positive when so many things around us are negative?
The lifehack is this, find something to be thankful for. In that moment of news that may not be what you want to hear, find something or someone to be thankful for. What that will do is break the cycle or snap you out of the negative trance that can happen.
It is easy to hear bad news and dwell on it and then that negative news creates negative thoughts. Those thoughts create more thoughts and then your attitude shifts to negativity. Once that happens you find yourself in a bad disposition. Sometimes this can create anxiety or depression in us because we can become fixated on the bad news.
I carry a rock around with me to remind myself to be thankful throughout the day. Gratitude protects a positive mind and empowers a positive beingness. Pick something at the start of each day to remind yourself to be thankful. So when you get stuck in traffic you can glance at the object and remind yourself all what you are thankful for.
Happiness is something that is work and gratitude is an ally to your happiness. The key to change is in making the small changes because they will in time equal big results. Therefore, just picking an object to carry with you to remind you to be grateful is a small change you can make.
Do you have a dream? Something inside of you that won’t go away. Maybe it is to write that book or take charge of your career. Either way below are two essential steps to accomplish it.
What is it that you are passionate about? There are two essential steps to getting yourself on the road to accomplishing your dreams or goals. They are basic, but sometimes common sense is not always common practice.
The first is to believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in you then who will? I want to pause and address something important for people who might religious or spiritual. Believing in yourself has nothing to do with arrogance or pride or doing something without God’s help.
Believing in yourself points to the fact that you believe what God has created in you. It is a healthy thing to do not a pride thing. By believing in yourself you are acknowledging what God has done already in you and that He is going to help you do whatever it is. Believing in yourself is incredibly important otherwise why would you even get started doing the steps necessary to accomplish the dream or goal.
The second step is to be consistent. Be always working towards your dream. Do something each day. It does not have to be anything huge. Dreams are accomplished because of a hundred or thousand minor steps that were taken. Do something each day and you will be your way to accomplishing that dream.
I believe you can and so should you.
Have you ever had a bad day? I know I have, in fact, I’ve had some bad months. In this video, I share a strategy in order to help you have a good day.
The thing about having a bad day is that it starts with a bad night. I am not just writing about the quality of your sleep but rather what you might be thinking about. Even though your conscious mind is asleep, your subconscious mind is not and is still working.
The subconscious mind houses all your inner beliefs as well as all the info from your childhood (both good and bad experiences). It is also where your self-image is as well. Your self-image is your inner image of how you see you. Now let’s say the last thing you think about before you go to bed is how mad or stressed you are about work or family life then you’ll wake up the next day in a bad mood.
Why? Because your subconscious mind has had all night to think about why everything is wrong. Hence, your bad mood. Here is the strategy, before you go to bed thinking about something positive that happened that day. Say a prayer of thanks for all God has provided you. Then look forward to something that you’ll enjoy doing the next day.
If you choose to complain just remember that your complaining is what will suck the life out of you. Complaining is like having a vampire hang on your neck. Eventually, you’ll be sucked dry and have no energy. Instead, decide today to choose your thoughts. It will be difficult at first but the more you do it the more it will become easier.
Would you like to be more confident? Confidence is key in anything we do. I share about it in this video.
Confidence is something people see in us when we believe in ourselves. It is an inner hope that things will work out. Arrogance is an unhealthy view of one’s self. Confidence is not arrogance because it does not result when we hurt others. A confident person believes in themselves and that belief leads them to take action.
A confident person can make a mistake and not beat themselves up. Failure or mistakes are a natural part of life. Beating yourself up over a mistake is more about an ego that needs to be checked. Ego says ‘if I had just done it this way then…’ Even if you did do it the way your ego thinks it should have been done, the fact that the ego is suggesting another way means it needs to be checked.
A confident person will not belittle others or treat others unfairly. An arrogant person must make others feel small because they thrive off the opinions of others. Whereas a confident person has a steadfast belief in themselves through a healthy perspective. Both contentment and happiness are byproducts of a confident person.
Would you like to be more confident? You can be. Start by changing the way you speak to yourself. If you have negative self-talk then your ego is out of control. The more positively you talk to yourself the more you begin to build a belief in who God has made you. All the confidence you will ever need is already within your soul, it just got stuffed down with all your negative self-talk.
Be you and everything will work out.
Fear of failure was something that kept me from living life. However, fear of failure prevents us from evolving becoming who we are meant to be.
Nobody wants to be made the fool. In high school, I was known as a shy person. In fact, I would tell people that I am shy at first until you get to know me. However, I was actually intimidated and was fearful to meet new people.
I was such a quiet individual. I allowed my fears to mute my personality.
I do not like labels of introvert or extrovert, because labels limit people. A phrase I tend to say to myself almost daily is other people’s opinions are none of my business. The phrase has taught me not to assume what somebody else is thinking.
Improving my self-image or what I thought about myself also empowered me to be comfortable with who I am. Once, I liked me then it became easier to try and experience new things. So below is the process to get out of your shell and create some growth in your life.
- Form a healthy perspective of you. You do not need to be Narcissistic or arrogant, but love being around you. I did this through meditation as well as with affirmations. Over time I came to believe the positive things I said about myself.
- Create small daily goals that lead to the big goal that you have. For example, I started this blog as a way to motivate myself to write. Now I have published a book and created a YouTube Channel. The Link is below. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMlQLSzdzecGj-Jt0UIIcpw?view_as=subscriber
- Learn to motivate yourself. If you are going to maximize your life then you’ll need to learn how to motivate you. Your body is the servant of your mind, not the other way around.
Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid to not try. Growth can only happen when we take a risk. So take a chance on yourself, I bet you’ll surprise you.
It is November and also a time to look at our lives and ask what are we most thankful for?
Gratitude is the attitude. It was my former brother-in-law who taught me the value of saying ‘thank you’. However, it was not until later in life that I understood the value of gratitude and what it does to the soul. Gratitude is like a spark for a soul that is troubled.
I have written numerous times about my struggles with mental health and what I have learned is that the more grateful I am the more my problems simply disappear. If you are familiar with the American Holiday of Thanksgiving then you know it is a time to gather with family and friends and to be thankful. However, I’d like to challenge you to each day either to tell, text, or write a note to someone about why you are thankful for them.
If you will do this each day of this month then by the end of it you will notice how your attitude will change for the better. Gratitude is the attitude.