We live in a world of blame and scapegoating. We want people to ‘own’ there stuff. However, a person who owns it does not deserve to be blamed either.
I used to be that type of person who was great at pointing the finger at others. It was never my fault. I had a bunch of excuses for everything that did not work out. However, it took me losing my job and almost eventually losing my wife that made me wake up.
When I understood that my thoughts create my world then my attitude toward my situations changed. I began to take ownership for my life, feelings, and thoughts. My marriage improved and my career got on track. However, as I went through this idea of ‘owning it’ I realized I needed to balance some things out in my life.
Ownership does not mean you neglect your feelings or stuff them. It actually means to acknowledge them and then move on. The moving on part is key, because when we dwell too long in them it can lead to complaining. When I complain I lose energy, when I move on and work on it I gain energy. Complaining is like a vampire, it sucks and it sucks your energy.
Get your feelings out, but resist the need to blame a person or situation. Often the answer for why you are upset lies in your past. Your past lends the context, but you are not your past.
A healthy perspective would be for all to realize we all have a hand in the cookie jar. It is never just only one person’s fault. It is not okay for us to blindly point fingers and scapegoat an individual or to demonize a person. When we all ‘own it’ the world tends to be a better place for all of us.
For example, when an employee messes, yes it is their fault, but it is also the supervisor’s responsibility. When we all ‘own it’ instead of blame it is a healthier place to be in.
Another example, when your child gets in trouble at school try to look beyond the problem and into the why. Ask yourself, why did they feel the need to do the thing? What are they saying? Is it the child’s fault for getting into trouble? Yes. But understanding the why helps you solve the real issue.
When we seek to understand the reason why a person acted a certain way then we realize the context. It does not mean the person gets a pass, but does however aid us in resolving it.