Regret is a thief who steals your joy and peace in the now. How can we overcome this vampire of happiness?
To live with regret is to make the past wrong. To make the past wrong is to blame yourself. For years I made regret an everyday habit. If it was not one thing it was another. It was almost as if I enjoyed putting myself in that state of mind.
The regrets I had played a huge part in my depression and anxiety. I lived in a cave of fear of my own creating. However, what changed for me was a deliberate decision to love who I was and am. It is a conscious decision that I must choose each day. It is easy to look at our past mistakes or blunders and blame ourselves for the poor decisions.
However, everything we have in our lives is there for a reason. If we did not need it then we would not have it. Making mistakes is part of the learning process. It is how we become aware of life.
When we blame ourselves or begin to “should” ourselves that is when we start to go down the path of regret. Therefore, instead of using the words “should have”, try to use “could”. You could have done that, however, you choose to experience life this way. Now you have learned a new way to live.
When I make a mistake now, I stop and tell myself, “Well I learned a new thing.” Then I move on. Sometimes it takes doing this a few times before I am able to let it go. It is not about the number of times I say it, but rather more about allowing me to forgive me.
You accomplish nothing with blame. It might feel you do, but you do more harm to you. Love who you are and love that person who you were. You needed to experience and go through the trials that you did in order to be right where you are right now. Embrace yourself.
I like to review my weeks and look at where I could have done a better job. I do not blame, but rather look at how I can improve. Improving is part of life and none of us are perfect. If you struggle with regret then sitting down and journaling about it will really help you. Also, evaluating yourself is a healthy way to embrace change.
You are right where you need to be, always.