How to get Confidence Quickly

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Before I get up to speak or go to an event or even meet a person for the first time, I use this process for gaining confidence quickly.  

There are some prerequisites that we must first acknowledge before we get into gaining confidence. The first is that we are the sum total of the thoughts we think about every minute of every day. If your thoughts are positive then they are supporting you in your endeavors. However, if your thoughts tend to be more negative then you actually are not supporting you.

The second prerequisite is that your thoughts are based on beliefs you have about you. This is why simply stating a positive affirmation or quoting a verse in the bible may not always help you. If the affirmation or scripture is contrary to your belief then it becomes you fighting you. It is the reason many give up on positive affirmations or will say, ‘It doesn’t work.’ I personally found myself doing this.

Therefore, what you can do is say an affirmation that you might agree with by saying it in a way that can empower your belief to change. I use ‘I am open to the possibility’ (then insert whatever you want your affirmation to say). Or ‘This is what I was created for…’ Your beliefs are based on something however you only have them in your life because you get something from them. It is a good idea to investigate why you might want to hold onto them.

How to gain Confidence quickly.

I simply take a deep breath and clear my mind. I remind myself that people need to hear what I have to say. Or people are depending upon me. Then I say this ‘you are a powerful person capable of this.’ Then I do it. Holding onto those negative thoughts will not do me any favors. I still have last second nerves but my anxiety has gone. The thoughts can pile up and therefore it is important to clear the mind.

That is what I do. You may have a different trick or thing you do and if so please share in the comments section.

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How to Deal with Annoying People

 

I don’t know about you, but I have known some pretty annoying people in my life. Sometimes I have felt that the individual had a button that they could press to raise my annoyance level. You know the type of people, they chew with their mouth open. Or they crack their knuckles or possibly their voice grates on your nerves. Still better yet, they go on these crazy Facebook rants.

At some point in each of our lives there is that person tests our patience. What do we do about it? Wayne Dyer said, “Every person has a right to be whatever they choose, even if you irritate yourself about it.” I was floored when I read that and thought back to all the times I had allowed myself to get annoyed at a person. Sometimes I found that when I got to know a person that whatever annoying habit I thought they had was not actually annoying.

How someone or something makes me feel is not really about the person or situation. It is about how I am choosing to feel in that moment. The person can do whatever they want and be themselves. If I let it affect me then it ultimately it is my issue not theirs. If I change then their annoying habit disappears.

I just finished Dyer’s book Your Erroneous Zones and I highly recommend it.

 

How to Connect with Anyone

I gotta write that is one intense look from me. Haha, this video is about ‘How to Connect with Anyone.’ I was a shy kid growing up and due to that fear of meeting people I missed out on relationships. In the video I give you three ways I use to connect with people. Thanks so much for watching.

Be Thankful for the Present and let the past stay there.

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The present is all we have therefore, why waste our precious time on moments that are gone.

I have to admit this is something that I have struggled with most of my life. I don’t know about you, but I used to like to live in the past. I think, What could I have done differently? or I should have said this? or If I had only acted this way or What if I had known then what I know now. All of these thoughts and questions over the years have filled my mind. I have learned that the past is gone and will never be and the future may not happen the way my fear thinks it might. I only have right now. This moment.

You may know this however often the past creeps in like an unwelcome visitor who raids your fridge. Then the next thing you know your past is hanging out in your house again holding you hostage. Maybe you do want to move past it but you might feel that it is just apart of you now. How do we deal with the moments in our lives where a situation or individual triggers our past?

Here are some concepts I use:

  1. Be thankful for the present and the past. Your past, believe it or not brought you to this point in your life. Love it and be thankful for what it is teaching you now. It is possible your mind brought it up to for a reason. Discover what it is and be thankful.
  2. Life is a Journey. Life is not about who finishes first or who has the most toys or best retirement. It is about discovering or as I have heard it said, ‘To live is to learn.’
  3. You are not your past. Whatever your past is, it is over. You are not it. It does not define you, only you define yourself. It is your decision on what you wish each day to be.
  4. Meditate. Simply put get quiet and focus. When ghosts from your past creep in and start blaming you and condemning then shut them off by meditating. Meditation is about focus and allowing the mind to rest. When my thoughts take a negative turn that is my mind telling me it is time to meditate. It does not need to be thirty minutes or sitting crossed legged or even burning incense. It is clearing your mind of all thoughts.

Your past is over therefore, be kind to yourself now because it is all the time we have. Thanks for reading.

How to Overcome a Fear of Public Speaking

Can you really overcome a fear of public speaking? Yes! I talk about how I overcame my debilitating fear of public speaking. I’ll never forget the countless times I faked ill for school in my attempts to not have to give a book report. Today I get up in front of people all the time and give presentations. In the video I share my two tips that I used. I hope it’ll be a blessing to you. Thanks.

What is your morning routine?

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Your morning routine can make the difference between you achieving your goals or having them stay as dreams.

I added getting up earlier and cutting out TV in the morning. I have found that not only does my day go better, but I have more energy. TV was apart of my daily routine for many years. I’d watch the news, sports, and the weather. By the time I saw everything I needed to, it was time to go to work.

Today I do not even miss it. The news in my opinion can put you in a foul mood. The Dow Jones market might dip and it is panic on Wall Street, but it does not need to be panic for you. The world will keep on spinning. It is for you to be thankful for finances you do have and your ability to pay your bills.

There might be news of trouble in the Middle East. However you do not need to concern yourself with that because the news on whatever political side you are on will have something bad to report. Therefore, commit to making gratitude part of your early morning before work. You might be surprised as to what it can do for you.

Whatever news that is urgent for you to know to survive, you will find out about it. Therefore, committing time out of your day to waste on watching a broadcast is a time-waster. The news like anything today is purely for entertainment. Do something productive with your precious time.

I have committed to writing in a journal and I never thought I would do that. It has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. I am discovering things about myself as well as finding my mood changing. What is your morning routine?

 

How Gratitude can Improve your Marrige

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Gratitude in marriage can help transform your perspective on your spouse. 

For years my marriage was not going well. Sometimes it felt as if our lows were pits. A big reason for this was me. When I started to change then my marriage followed suit. Then when I started my gratitude journal, my love for my wife grew deeper.

All too often it is easy to focus on what someone is not doing rather than what they are doing. Maybe there are needs that have gone unmet for weeks, months, or even years. It can be easy to develop a bitter heart or a complaining attitude. However, complaining never motivated anyone to act.

At the heart of it your spouse is doing the best that they are aware of. If they knew of a different way to do things then trust that they would. This is where going to counseling can give insights into the ‘why’ they are and why they act accordingly. Their actions or inabilities come from somewhere deep within their soul.

The important aspect to remember is daily remind yourself of your love for them. I do this by simply stating each day how grateful I am for her and I get specific about the ‘what’. In times when I get annoyed and lose sight I bring myself back to how grateful I am. The more you practice gratitude with your spouse the more your perspective will change. The perspective will help you to know how blessed you really are.

Gratitude gives perspective, which yields a change of attitude that will lead to better actions.