The present is all we have therefore, why waste our precious time on moments that are gone.
I have to admit this is something that I have struggled with most of my life. I don’t know about you, but I used to like to live in the past. I think, What could I have done differently? or I should have said this? or If I had only acted this way or What if I had known then what I know now. All of these thoughts and questions over the years have filled my mind. I have learned that the past is gone and will never be and the future may not happen the way my fear thinks it might. I only have right now. This moment.
You may know this however often the past creeps in like an unwelcome visitor who raids your fridge. Then the next thing you know your past is hanging out in your house again holding you hostage. Maybe you do want to move past it but you might feel that it is just apart of you now. How do we deal with the moments in our lives where a situation or individual triggers our past?
Here are some concepts I use:
- Be thankful for the present and the past. Your past, believe it or not brought you to this point in your life. Love it and be thankful for what it is teaching you now. It is possible your mind brought it up to for a reason. Discover what it is and be thankful.
- Life is a Journey. Life is not about who finishes first or who has the most toys or best retirement. It is about discovering or as I have heard it said, ‘To live is to learn.’
- You are not your past. Whatever your past is, it is over. You are not it. It does not define you, only you define yourself. It is your decision on what you wish each day to be.
- Meditate. Simply put get quiet and focus. When ghosts from your past creep in and start blaming you and condemning then shut them off by meditating. Meditation is about focus and allowing the mind to rest. When my thoughts take a negative turn that is my mind telling me it is time to meditate. It does not need to be thirty minutes or sitting crossed legged or even burning incense. It is clearing your mind of all thoughts.
Your past is over therefore, be kind to yourself now because it is all the time we have. Thanks for reading.
Can you really overcome a fear of public speaking? Yes! I talk about how I overcame my debilitating fear of public speaking. I’ll never forget the countless times I faked ill for school in my attempts to not have to give a book report. Today I get up in front of people all the time and give presentations. In the video I share my two tips that I used. I hope it’ll be a blessing to you. Thanks.
Your morning routine can make the difference between you achieving your goals or having them stay as dreams.
I added getting up earlier and cutting out TV in the morning. I have found that not only does my day go better, but I have more energy. TV was apart of my daily routine for many years. I’d watch the news, sports, and the weather. By the time I saw everything I needed to, it was time to go to work.
Today I do not even miss it. The news in my opinion can put you in a foul mood. The Dow Jones market might dip and it is panic on Wall Street, but it does not need to be panic for you. The world will keep on spinning. It is for you to be thankful for finances you do have and your ability to pay your bills.
There might be news of trouble in the Middle East. However you do not need to concern yourself with that because the news on whatever political side you are on will have something bad to report. Therefore, commit to making gratitude part of your early morning before work. You might be surprised as to what it can do for you.
Whatever news that is urgent for you to know to survive, you will find out about it. Therefore, committing time out of your day to waste on watching a broadcast is a time-waster. The news like anything today is purely for entertainment. Do something productive with your precious time.
I have committed to writing in a journal and I never thought I would do that. It has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. I am discovering things about myself as well as finding my mood changing. What is your morning routine?
Gratitude in marriage can help transform your perspective on your spouse.
For years my marriage was not going well. Sometimes it felt as if our lows were pits. A big reason for this was me. When I started to change then my marriage followed suit. Then when I started my gratitude journal, my love for my wife grew deeper.
All too often it is easy to focus on what someone is not doing rather than what they are doing. Maybe there are needs that have gone unmet for weeks, months, or even years. It can be easy to develop a bitter heart or a complaining attitude. However, complaining never motivated anyone to act.
At the heart of it your spouse is doing the best that they are aware of. If they knew of a different way to do things then trust that they would. This is where going to counseling can give insights into the ‘why’ they are and why they act accordingly. Their actions or inabilities come from somewhere deep within their soul.
The important aspect to remember is daily remind yourself of your love for them. I do this by simply stating each day how grateful I am for her and I get specific about the ‘what’. In times when I get annoyed and lose sight I bring myself back to how grateful I am. The more you practice gratitude with your spouse the more your perspective will change. The perspective will help you to know how blessed you really are.
Gratitude gives perspective, which yields a change of attitude that will lead to better actions.
Most of my life I struggled with a negative thought life. In this video I share the steps I took to change all of that.
By the way the book I am holding is called ‘Make Peace with your Mind’ by Mark Coleman. The book was an excellent resource for me when I began my journey of changing my thoughts. Thanks for watching.
Can children and teenagers be grateful? Yes and it might be easier than you think.
‘Teenagers!’ the parent said in a raised voice as he threw his hands up in the air. He was lost as to how to communicate with his son and it revealed the greater problem the parent was having of raising a teenager in today’s world. It is unfortunate that when people think of teenagers they think of a negative experience they had or they are reminded of many failed attempts to communicate or reach out to their own children.
I have worked with junior high and high school students for about twenty years and I can write with confidence that teenagers are not as bad as one might think. They have brought a joy and provided me with many wonderful lessons to better myself. If you allow yourself to be aware in the moment then you may be surprised at the different lessons youth today are teaching today. However that is besides the point of this blog post.
How can we teach children and teenagers to be grateful? It is easier than you might think.
- You are the Model. Whether you are aware or not we are all teaching one another all the time. Your children are watching and you are teaching them how to act in the world and in situations. If you are a grateful person then they will pick up on it. If you tend to lose your cool then they’ll witness it as well.
- It is more than saying thank you. It is a lifestyle. Therefore, develop a time in your day to stop and be thankful. I personally have a gratitude journal and I write about the people, things that are a blessing to me.
- Teach various forms of thankfulness. Take your child with you to the store to purchase thank you notes and teach them the importance of it. If you are buying a gift then explain it to them. This may seem obvious but common practice is not always common sense. Often we might think ‘oh I won’t bother them they are busy.’ There is always time for a teachable moment. How else will a youth learn if not taught and explained to them.
- Take a Time Out. When you feel overwhelmed at any point in any given situation then stop. When we feel overwhelmed that is our body and mind telling us to take a break. We need to listen to that. Instead of continuing in that moment we can pray, meditate or even reflect on things we are grateful for. By doing this you will be able to come back to the present moment and enjoy it for what it is.
Your kids will go as you go. I understand parents are busy in today’s world however if you do not have a moment to stop and teach then you are just too busy. Thanks for reading.
Gratitude provides us with perspective to enjoy the lessons that life provides us.
Perspective is something that can be obtained easily however, it can be elusive because it does not involve the ego. Gratitude is the key to disabling the ego. Sometimes perspective can be won due to experiences that life provides, yet this is not the only way. Perspective is the ability to step out of your view to witness the world in a different point of view. Often it is like the cliche to ‘walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.’
What I found when I was thankful was that it subdued my ego and granted me access to perspective. When I found perspective then I realized that I judged less and was grateful for feedback. My ego was sensitive to feedback because my issue was that I felt judged often. Now I realize my issues was rooted in the fact that I judged others and in turn I judged myself.
The cycle was broken with gratitude. I find that there is always a lesson in life if I am looking for it. One of the secrets of this life is that we are all teaching one another. Whether we realize it or not at the time. We are providing lessons of to do or not to do. It is perspective that enables us to understand the lesson.
If you find yourself in a predicament then consider being grateful for it because it is meant to help you become aware of something. Before you become angry at your child or an individual stop and ask yourself what they are teaching you in that moment. Perspective empowers us to become more conscious and understand the lesson.
Thanks for reading.